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It is the first time for me. At this moment i want to cry because i like a flower without sunshine.All oh these are for the internshiop and my future.These days i have experienced kinds of interviews, as GE, alibaba and other famous companies belong to our government. But as i am looking for an internship which fit to me,i become interested in more and more things. Sudenlly, i find that i do not know what i really want to do.

I am so sad at this moment. I really want to know waht i am searching for and whether i am looking up or not. When i see my old friends be busy with his work or her internship or her studies, i am so envious of them.I want to know what kind of person i am and how does my future like.

I miss you mum, I want you to give me some sunshine to make my future clear.I want to cry, for the job and my future,even that i do not know what is my job and my future.How ridiculous am i! Yes,everyone told me that onday i will find what i am searching for, but now i am disappointed.I miss you my future.My english is so bad that i need to do thease things more often.Thank you my dear friends for your help and everything else.

也许上学的幸福孩子，我还真是体会不到那些朋友的压力和生活的挑战，每一天都觉得自己满怀希望却无处可去，真是够伤心伤感情伤斗志。我心底总有那么一种预感，我将在不久体会到跟他们一样的生活，甚至比他们还要坏，至少不比他们轻松……所以心底总是很担心他们，担心他们振作不起来，担心他们不小心错过一次又一次的机会，胡思乱想的构造各种虚幻的场景。我总是在各种幻想中来预测各种事情，尽量猜透这个世界将来的安排，以防自己难以接受，以防上天的玩笑我承受不起。

今天有几个心底一直惦念的朋友们考公务员，每次跟他们聊天都不知道自己有没有作那种说风凉话的人，哎，人要事事能够百分百理解人真是不可能。公务员会给一些人满意的出路吧……至少拿公务员当回事的，满怀期待的人啊。哎，我都不知道想啥了。

最近感觉自己很自在，也很飘。嘿嘿，感觉到了真感情的刻骨铭心，感受到了感情的说不清楚，体会到了各种人间奇妙又简单的快乐伤心。其实脑子里没有胡思乱想只是手动起来就变得胡思乱写了，这样也相当爽的，写出来的都是像瀑布一样激流勇进的从天而降的不加修饰的。之后都不承认这是自己写的东西。最近偶尔会担心毕业了工作了一个人走北京南闯北京北了，LG不可能一直陪在身边像影子一样，朋友也没有一个像影子一样的，我还真是很想要我的影子能说话能时刻陪着我安慰我的像个朋友姐妹一样……姐妹们啊，工作了请上天赐给我一个陪在身边的吧，哈

近十点的时候挣扎了起来，享受一下有人但依然很安静的似乎空荡荡的屋子，很想念新年之前病在家里，爸妈老弟亲爱的细心呵护，语重心长的关心语。

安静的穿好衣服，保持叠被子的好习惯。象征性的咳了两声，继续干好早起的工作……

今天该去洗澡了，头发已经不那么随意，只好我随意一点儿了。。。看着自己的圆脸还是觉得怪稚嫩的，小病还等着一些东西，有一颗心总是爱期待着让自己开心的话。

出门，今天的天气很好啊，小春风都没有不理我，擦身而过还会让我感受它的存在，在妈妈怀里的小孩儿一个词一个词的说出妈妈教的东西，那个妈妈心里一定美的很了。

见到认识的不认识的人，都不自觉的给了一个微笑，总感觉身上藏了很多的笑不知道该送给谁。

 

到了教研室，想想学习，应该努力了，也许本学期就该做好本学期的事情，之后再惦记自己的余力还有多少。不要像鱼儿一样只顾吃，很容易就成了漂在水面的死尸了……

    i have not been here for so long,resently i feel i have so many things to say to sb,but i just pretend to be so happy with these problems.maybe it is hard to get rid of spmething you want so much but you can not get it.even when you can feel how happy it is this could be more and more difficult.these days i found that i have missed something that i really like,and i have a chance to regret,even though i am lack of encourage.how stupid am i!

    i dont want to say all these feelings by chinese ,just because i don't want to see these boring things clearly.in fact i am feeling very lonely when there is no one by my side,but it is the reality what we,grown up, must accept.we mustn't be afraid of being alone ,facing hard choices and some persons.we can find someone who really love us and who really care about us at this moment we feel sweet.

    maybe i will not grow up forever,maybe i will always be crying for missing families and houneys,maybe i will always need someone be by my side,i will be myself for ever.

    i want to say sorry,i love you and thank you houney.

   发现大家这个假期都觉得过的挺没意思的，真的是假期太长了就不知道怎么过才让自己觉得高兴了。人啊！

但是假期过去了，还是没什么太多的体会，除了一点就是觉得自己不再是学生了，研究生开学的日子让我满心期待。因为开学意味着我一种生活的结束，彻底的结束。不再庆幸自己做错事情总是会有人原谅，不再自欺欺人的浪费时间，时间将变得更宝贵，因为感觉自己都已经抓不到它，走得太快。尤其看到爸妈满头白发的时候。

  新的生活，将要更加饱满。充满期待和斗志。真的长这么大从来没有过这些些体会，记得本科开学时只是懵懵懂懂的期待和兴奋，和如今真的大有不同。嘿嘿，但无论如何我都很高兴，我依然有你们在身边~该感谢谁呢